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Lafayel
One of the first Pae'il to hatch, he was also one of the quickest to grow; the situation, however, has changed, as time spent away from Gaia seems to have slowed his growth, and he is now a step or two behind his former peers. Essentially a creature of intellect, the only thing better about being an adult, in his opinion, is that it's easier to read and carry books with arms and hands... Still, the matter nags at him.

He's a bit on the introverted side, although he can easily become a chatterbox if it's a subject he's interested in; perhaps unfortunately, the subjects he's interested in tend to seem dry or confusing to others, and he's wary of conversation, lest he bore or offend someone. He's a little conflicted when it comes to emotions; he recognizes them as a natural part of every living being, but also sees them as a hinderance to objectivity and quicker progression, which is something he's currently attempting to reconcile-- Perhaps fortunately, his recent journey has given him new insight into the situation, which he is quickly assimilating into his world-view.

He prefers to spend time in the Maya, or the Dreaming (whatever you'd like to call it), where he can spend time aquiring further knowledge while inhabiting his ideal form. He's learned, though, that too much time incorporeal can have adverse effects on one, and he's now trying to stay in the Material Realm a little more often, as well as assimilate himself into the world shared by everyone else. This is a little tricky, but he's rising to the challenge; though technically an adult, his mind - and, some might venture, his spirit - has aged appropriately, giving him a more balanced and mature outlook on life.


Apathetic
Caretaker of Lafayel, Apathetic's past is only known in the vaguest of terms; it's clear, from his allusions to his past, that he was raised in a noble family, one which lived dangerously close to the maelstrom of power that was the raw Maya. He also claims that mental instability is a result of his line's exceptional control of the Dreaming, but - as he has a sometimes strange sense of humor - this might just be a joke.

Regardless of his past, Apathetic is now an inhabitant of Gaia, more-or-less; finally returned after an extended, and somewhat enigmatic, absense, he and his family of adopted "children" have returned to their old residence in Durem, the summer bungalow now rented out to some foreign visitors to Gambino. His exact timeline is still rather fog-shrouded but most polite indivudals don't inquire, and he doesn't bring up the subject, even when invited to do so. His parenting methods have loosened up somewhat, and despite his persistant occasional formality, which can seem aloof at times, he's a caring father-figure nonetheless.

Though he always encouraged Lafayel to learn self-control, recent events prior to their departure gave him cause to reconsider, and he attempted to convince Lafayel to have a bit more of a social life before settling down to hermitage, or what-have-you; he feels that he's been at least partially successful, and when not taking care of the tedious manners of everyday life, can be seen monitering Lafayel's development into a mature being. Though he still has his own training-schedule for the Pae'il, he allows Lafayel greater freedom, provided Lafayel use that time to see the world outside the family grounds, and is there to reassure Lafayel when the Pae'il expresses doubts about his place in the world.

Most entries will be Lafayel's, though notes from Apathetic may also be included. those occasions will be rare, though; after all, this is meant to be Lafayel's journal, not Apathetic's.

Lafayel's journal-entries will be in green italics, like that.

Apathetic's notes will be in black italics, encased in brackets, [like so].

"Out-Of-Character" notes will be in ((double-parentheses)).

How strange is it, that so soon after starting this journal, I am prevented from writing another entry? Journals, however, aren't exactly portable into Dreamspace.

But Father always said that Fate is one of the few things that you can't control, and so I've already resigned myself to having missed out on so much time; it isn't as though I'm the only one affected, after all, and i wasn't overly inconvenienced.

At the least, however, I know one thing: I'm not quite the same Pae'il that I was before. I find myself disdaining this current form just a bit more than I did before; I still look so young, and yet I know I'm not a child. I'm not.

But, there's no use in angsting about it, as Father says. I've just got to move ahead with life; now that we're back, we're trying to pick up where we left off, although it won't be easy. Father himself seems particularly concerned, although he tried to not show it so that the others remain at ease; I don't know if Iriel's been affected at all, since Iriel is still an egg, but I for one am anxious. How have things changed on the island? This isn't the first time we've gone missing; how have the others changed? Is it possible for us to fit in again?

Did we ever fit in to begin with?

Sometimes, I am truly envious of Iriel. Being an egg still, he doesn't yet have to think of such things, or worry about them.

((Originally written: Dec 27, 2004))

Well, we spent a brief amount of time on the Island, today; Iriel wanted to see what it was like, so Father suggested dropping by. Iriel ran off at once, of course, and I had to chase after him; it took a while before he got bored and let me lead him back to the HQ, where we took even longer to find Father napping in the library.

It seemed fairly empty that day, though we could certainly sense others on the Island; we didn't run across any of them, though, and it was already getting close to twilight, so we headed home soon after we found Father. Iriel won't stop pestering us about going back to explore more of the Isle, at least whenever he remembers about it, and Father's promised that we'll be able to go back soon; Iriel wants to meet the others, if they're there.

I, myself, am a little nervous. I did some checking about, as we walked through the Headquarters, and I found what looked like a genetics-chart, or family tree, listing all the Pae'il currently in existance; frankly, there's jaw-dropping numbers of them, and I'm not sure how to react. It seems as though all of my former peers have had children already, and some of those have had children... There are already three or four generations of Pae'il living on the Island! Time certainly does pass faster than I thought it did, and I'm starting to feel worry, again, over being passed over.

I try not to dwell on it, though, since I've recognized that dwelling often leads to brooding, at least for me, and it isn't good to sulk all the time. I ought to keep myself busy, then, so I suppose I'll go keep on eye on the others; Maya knows that even the ones older than me seem to need watching-over.

So... tired...

Can't write... for long...

Must take... deep breaths...

...

...

... All right, I'm a little better. You wouldn't BELIEVE what just happened... or, then again, maybe you would. After all, it's not as though unusal, often-inconvenient things happen in this household, although Father likes to refer to them as "character-building occurances." No offense meant to Father at all, but I've yet to see HIM chasing after Iriel when the little wing-ball's gone missing.

No, Iriel hasn't taken to running away from home; if that were the case, it might be a little easier to manage. After all, with those tiny wings, he wouldn't be able to get far. No, he has to go and develop his Talent... which, apparently, has something to do with speed. Yes, my task of keeping an eye on him is made even harder, because now he can move around as nothing but a black-white-and-silver blur. Not for very long, thankfully, but it's getting a little... exhausting.

Aside from that, however, things have been going more-or-less well; in recognition of my baby-sitting duties, Father's cut back on most of my lessons, although we're still making regular trips into the Maya. My current focus in fine-tuning my form-control, but it's kind of strange... Lately, it's been getting harder and harder ot maintain a consistant dream-form, and once I even had to return early because I couldn't stay cohesive.

Father says not to worry about it, that it's just a sign that I'm reaching a plateau in my power-level; I always thought, though, that plateaus meant you were improving, so why does it seem as though my skills are actually declining? It's getting difficult to travel the Maya, and I'm also starting to pick up stray thoughts of others; it's a little unnerving, but Father assures me that it's just a phase, and I just need to practice a little more.

At least it means that I can devote more time to my fine-tuning, and less time to combat training; I know it will be good to know if I ever need it someday, but I'm really not much of a fighter.

I have to go, now; Iriel's bouncing up and down on my head and asking me to write another journal-enrty for him. I can't wait until he grows up; at least he'll be able to write his OWN entries.