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 Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 4:48 pm
I would like some comments on my poetry.
Here is my first poem
The Darkness
Just watch me fade away into the darkness.
My heart has been thrown into the darkness.
It all consumes me with the how dark it is.
I can't breath in the darkness.
I can't see in the darkness.
I can't even think while in the darkness.
The darkness has taken over my mind.
The darkness started when you broke my heart.
It will not repair I could not prepare.
First you stole and treated well now you broke it and gave me hell.
You don't have any concern for it nor do you think you should.
You say you love me but just throw your ******** words into the darkness.
Here is my second poem
You said
You said you love me but look at us now.
You said you wanted me but look at us now.
You said you wanted marry me but look at us now.
You said all those things but look at us now.
Now I hate you for what you have done.
You deserve everything that comes to you.
You should just take all your words and throw them away.
I hate you now for what you have done.
I said I loved you but look at us now.
I said I wanted you but look at us now.
I said I wanted to marry you but look at us now.
I said all those things but just look at us now.
I did everything for you and how do I get repaid.
Just look at us and you will se what I get.
You will see. You will see.
My third
Feelings of a tortured mind
I have so much hate.
It must be fate.
I used to have a loving feeling,
but now you have my heart reeling.
I used to hear my heart pound,
but now it doesn't make a sound.
I always saw you in sweet dreams,
but now I see you were hate gleams.
First you had my heart and treated it well,
then you broke it and gave me hell.
My fourth
Love
love the two sided blade.
The knife that steals you life as you chop away.
The one thing that drains your life after happy nice.
Something that can be either hurtful extreamly great.
Love hurts or cares for all who let it.
Love is a cold fire. A demonic angel.
A poisen that can kill or restore.
A drug that can do anything.
Some thing that is a complete enigma.
A sedative that can kill you slowly or recover you quickly.
A thing that is more powerful than anything.
The one thing that causes people to go crazy or stay sane.
It is something that is evil but good at all times.
It can make you or break you.
It can build you up then destroy you quickly.
Love. Love. Love. Thats what it is love.
Please comment I would like to here some oppinions.
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Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 9:50 am
I'll be true, I'll be useful, I'll be cavalier,
I'll be yours my dear
And I'll belong to you
If you just let me through *applauds*
Awesome!!
I really really like the third one
=]
This is such a poetic guild x] This is easy as lovers go.
So don't complicate it by hesitating.
This is wonderful as loving goes.
This is tailor made,
What's the sense in waiting?
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Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2008 4:53 pm
XD thanks I am glad you like my poetry. I just found out not that long ago that I could wright stuff. Oh and more will be posted soon.
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Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2008 8:02 pm
Words
Words don't express my feelings to well.
I think they just show where my feelings dwell.
Words arn't enough to show my happyness,
they just make it look like sappyness.
Words sometimes make me fell geat.
Sometimes like traped in a crate.
Words are oh so powerfull,
but sometimes oh so hurtfull.
Sometimes words are pretty.
Sometimes words are witty.
Words can have people feeling.
Sometimes they have people realing.
Sometimes they can have you recalling,
something increadably appauling.
Some words make you need a light,
because they make you feel not so bright.
Try hard with all your might,
to always have your words just right.
Life
Life has its ups and downs.
Life isn't always happy like clowns.
Life is not always fair.
In fact it almost never is.
It is something you gotta deal with.
You can't live your life just lettting this go by.
If you do that you'll probably cry.
Life can be so hard,
you just gotta push on through.
When life knocks you down,
only the strongest get back up.
iIt takes friends to survive,
in this world so black.
I always forgett that this is life,
and not hell we are living in.
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