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 Posted: Tue Nov 16, 2010 10:55 pm
OK I feel like this is the only place I won't get shouted at and/or silenced, so I just want to know what you guys think about male privilege.
I know I've been bothered by this because of only one person who is my privilege and oppression obsessed ex, but it really, really bothers me since I like to think I'm working in social justice and that I really understand it. So why would some people say that women and trans are victims of sexism, but others say all trans men have male privilege and don't belong in association with women?
Is it a generational thing and the younger people understand better or is it an education thing and the older people understand better?
Seriously guys, I just need some sort of answer that isn't from her and isn't half-assed from other people so I stop feeling like I need to detransition because I'm not "man enough" to experience this male privilege and also can't transition to be male and get rid of the dysphoria and then confuse everyone to live as a girl even though that would be less suffocating socially. sad
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Posted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 11:24 am
For a while, I was visiting the LGBT community center here in Vegas, and working on some projects with a Trans-rights group. This was one of the major issues that ended up pushing me out, honestly. A lot of the (older) transwomen made a point to say how privileged transmen were, and how easy they had it. They basically erased discrimination against transmen from the map - as if people just put on men's clothes, and suddenly society decided 'yeah, that's alright!', or health insurance companies would change their mind because someone was injecting testosterone instead of estrogen.
The idea that transmen somehow have it better than women, and transwomen, is just laughable to me. We all have similar issues, and we all have different issues --- but no one situation is worse than the other. They're simply different.
In terms of sexism? I had a boss who expected me to lift the same amount of weight as my cisgendered male co-workers. If they could lift 350 lb., I had to lift 350 lb., or they would 'replace me with someone who could' - even though my contract had said 50 lb. was the most I needed to lift, and they did bring up my sex and gender. It was basically a 'prove you're a man' environment. We'd had one female stocker on our team for a while, and even she didn't have to lift anything over 50 lb. --- which she was perfectly content with, and was fair, because she'd tried to lift more than that and could not. However, when I tried and dropped boxes all over the place or had to roll them on the floor to move them, it was because I was being lazy or not being man enough. :/ They had two different sets of standards for their male employees and their female employees --- and their attack on me was that 'if I was going to be treated like a man, then I needed to meet their standard for a male employee'. Which is, inherently, sexist. It's sexist against women who can do so much more than just 50 lb. in some cases, and it's sexist against men by insinuating that all men can lift the same amount of merchandise with the same amount of ease.
Sexism is a complicated issue, but it is most definitely not exclusive to women or transwomen. I digress, though. Your experience is your own experience, but I totally think your ex was just trying to make you feel bad about who you are as a person. It sounds to me like she was trying really hard to say 'men have it better than women, and you're becoming a man, so you have it better than women too', without even beginning to comprehend the intricate issues of being trans?
My two cents, anyway.
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Posted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 4:41 pm
People saying that ftms transition to get male privilege (or are lucky because they get it) is one of those things that really drives me nuts. Yes, male privilege exists in many arenas (so does female privilege!). But by transitioning we are moving from "normal person" to "transsexual person". We are men, yes, but we are transsexual men. Socially, what we lose in transitioning then gain in "privilege" is like swapping a three course banquet for a dime bar. If it is known to others that we are trans, we are very lucky to be respected AS men at all.
You would not accuse a man who was born male of opposing social justice because he is a man. The very idea is ridiculous - he can't help being male. Equally ridiculous is the idea that you are of opposing it because you are a man, whether your body fits or not. Support the entitlement of every person to express themselves as they feel they should be without being persecuted for it.
It does sound like your friend is using your sense of social justice to make you feel guilty about who you are. But she has no say in who you are, and you should not allow anyone to disempower you that way.
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Posted: Fri Mar 25, 2011 5:29 pm
It's not in your face...
Hm, wow.
I came out to my grandma first (she's still the most accepting to this day <3) and she keeps saying, "I would never want to have the responsibility of a man, supporting the family, and all..." Yet, a child of the forties, she is a very business-minded woman and takes care of the finances for my grandpa. He's easygoing, and lets her take control where she wants.
My family, as far as my interpretation, has been a matriarchy for the last three ganerations, and I grew up without knowing the side of society that's male-domination-oriented. As far as I'm concerned, male status doesn't factor into the desire or need to transition. If it did, my upbringing would say that my desire to transition is because I'm submissive and equate submission with males, which is opposite most of society.
In general, feminism pushing from the eighties has brought plenty of equality around (at least where I live), so I don't think "male priviledge" is too big an issue in my community. I'm close to the inner city, and many women here seem to be about level with the men in their respective areas.
IDK. It could just be that I've grown up around a hell of a lot of dominant women.
((my apologies if I'm not making sense tonight; I've been in the whiskey. redface ))
...It's in my hand.
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